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The Creation According to Linus
this is my silly attempt at porting Mr. Maor's post to UN*X :-)
most of it is bent to accomodate the jokes, but some of the error messages
are real :-)
Completly Chaotic (tm) systems
TS 0, Port 1
Software rev. 0.0
enter service
TS0_PORT1> C Unixverse
Trying 1.0.0.1...
Connected to unixverse.
Escape character is '^]'.
Let there be light!
Login: god
Password: <typing: Omniscient>
Login incorrect
Login: god
Password: <typing: Omnipotent>
Login incorrect
Login: god
Password: <typing: Technocrat>
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
[root@unixverse /]# Let there be light!
light: no match
[root@unixverse /]# make light
Done
[root@unixverse /]# make world
Done.
[root@unixverse /]# insmod heaven & ; insmod earth &
And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
[root@unixverse /]# ^Let there be firmament^ in the midst of water and
light
Modifir failed
[root@unixverse /]# make firament
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
[root@unixverse /]# hostname earth
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
[root@earth /]# Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one
place and let the dry land appear and
let: too many arguments.
[root@earth /]# make land -Dry
Done
[root@earth /]# insmod firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
[root@earth /]# make lights in the firmament to divide the day from the
night
make: don't know how to make lights. Stop.
[root@earth /]# (cd solsys ; (make sun & ; make moon & ; make stars &))
Done.
[root@earth /]# (cd solsys ; insmod *)
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
[root@earth /]# make fish & ; make fowl &
Done.
[root@earth /]# fish& ; fowl&
And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature
that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every
winged fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
[root@earth /]# make cattle -Moo
Done
[root@earth /]# make creepy_things
Done
[root@earth /]# Now let us make man in our image
now: no time.
[root@earth /]# make man
Done
[root@earth /]# Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and
subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and
over the fowl of the air and over every living thing that
creepeth upon the earth
Too many command operands. Try again.
[root@earth /]# bash multiplication.sh
multiplication.sh: syntax error near unexpected token `|'
Execution terminated. 6 errors.
[root@earth /]# breathd &
[root@earth /]# bash multiplication.sh
Execution terminated. 5 errors.
[root@earth /]# mv man garden.eden/
mv: cannot move `man' to `garden.eden//man': No such file or directory
[root@earth /]# mkdir garden.eden
[root@earth /]# mv man garden.eden/
[root@earth /]# bash multiplication.sh
Execution terminated. 4 errors.
[root@earth /]# cat garden.eden/man | sort > garden.eden/woman
[root@earth /]# bash multiplication.sh
Execution terminated. 2 errors.
[root@earth /]# make love
make: don't know how to make love. Stop.
[root@earth /]# make desire ; insmod /usr/bin/desire
Done
[root@earth /]# bash multiplication.sh
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
[root@earth /]# /usr/local/bin/freewill &
[root@earth /]# bash multiplication.sh
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
[root@earth /]# rmmod desire
rmmod: can't remove desire, module in use by process freewill
[root@earth /]# killall freewill
freewill(42): Operation not permitted
freewill: no process killed
[root@earth /]# nice man woman
No manual entry for woman
[root@earth /]# make tree_of_knowledge
[root@earth /]# bash multiplication.sh
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in /garden.eden
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
[root@earth /]# make good ; make evil
[root@earth /]# /sbin/evil &
evil daemon started
evil: creating shame
And God saw he had created shame.
[root@earth /]# chmod 400 /garden.eden
garden.eden/man: no write permission
[root@earth /]# mv /garden.eden/* /tmp
segmentation fault: man, woman not in garden.eden. 1 errors.
[root@earth /]# find garden.eden -name "*man"
[root@earth /]# rm shame
rm: shame locked by evil daemon, cannot remove
[root@earth /]# killall freewill
freewill(42): Operation not permitted
freewill: not destroyed
[root@earth /]# init 1
ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR
REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
[root@earth /]# make world
You have exceeded your allocated file space quota. You must destroy old
files before new ones can be created.
[root@earth /]# rm -rf / ; umount /dev/sd* ; halt
COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT
6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.