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And for those of you who have not deleted this message after reading the
subject header, Congratulations!
Your inbox is now home to "unix pick up lines," a pithy little digest of
cheesy pick up lines i wrote with the gentle prodding of a freind while
we were awaiting the release of windows 95 in a shoddy cafe in chicago.
here's the copy of the web page, verbatim...
enjoy. :)
Subject: unix-lines.html
Eh, Baby....
Best results might be accompanied by a large amount of grinning and
winking. Then again, really wide lapels probably wouldn't hurt either.
Words that should be milked for most sexual innuendo are underlined.
But for the most part it is pretty self-explanatory.
DISCLAIMER: Yes, I know that many of these are rather disgusting, very
immature, and perhaps even depraved; so if you wanna contribute,
espouse negative energy my way, or enrich my existence with bizzare
success stories, feel free to mail me flavorful e-mail.
(But still, the stories I hear about programmers....)
_________________________________________________________________
You're tense baby, you need a reboot. Who has your root password?
Your eyes are like an i-node.
I wanna make love to you slow, like Emacs running on a 386.
I can fill your partition.
I'm lagged like a mule; one grep from me and you'll be spewing output
for HOURS!!
I'll drive your load average up.
Let's take this process into the foreground.
"My executable is so big, if you ran me, your system wouldn't be able
to run for a week"
--"Then strip it!"
Try a real man that will leave you nice and GUI.
I like a raw terminal type.
Get with it baby, and let me touch your files.
If it was vi on a 386, it would be anal sex
I wish I could grep his processes.
The way you handle my pipe, you put me into promiscuous mode.
We'dve interfaced a long time ago, but we're just not compatible.
You claim you're not that type, but your .rhost leaves you wide open.
You into recursive sex, or are you one of those catholic girls,
standard in, standard out?
I wanna fork...do you think you can handle the load?
We'll have to suspend that process until you get some write
protection.
I thought I was special, *sniff* but you're world executable!!!!
Yeah, I ran him, he was a big /dev/null.
The process was nice, so I got my way.
She has no grace left.
Can anyone access your directory, or do I have to be part of the
group?
Boy did he have one hell of a hard drive
Yeah I ran him, but before he got anywhere, he core dumped all over
me.
We hung out by the b-trees and spawned processes.
The process was getting heavy, the uptime was getting high, so I
killed it.
Check out the dynamically allocated heap on that guy.
I had to kill the process, the run time errors were really ruining the
mood.
His hard drive was great; then he put a doubler on it; too bad he was
SCSI.
"She's so stacked, little did I know she had a linked list."
--"Oh come off it, it's only a piece of code!"
I hear it's the quiet ones who handle promiscuous mode like a DOS
machine.
How come during ytalk you always end up on top?
When she got hold of my pipe, the compression rate was so high, it
nearly blew me through the roof
Copyright August 28, 1995 By Viktorie Navratilova