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- To: debian-talk@ion.com.au
- Subject: Humor...
- From: Dale Scheetz <dwarf@polaris.net>
- Date: Wed, 3 Jul 1996 09:35:51 -0400 (EDT)
- In-Reply-To: <31C7BE41.5EDE54C@ion.com.au>
- Sender: owner-debian-talk@ion.com.au
My partner sent me this this morning. Just thought that others might appreciate it ;-) >From foxh@ren.pcdocs.com Wed Jul 3 09:33:19 1996 Date: Wed, 03 Jul 1996 09:16:57 -0400 From: Fox Howard <foxh@ren.pcdocs.com> To: dwarf@polaris.net Subject: humor My boss says this is canadian humor ... >All about toasters: >If IBM made toasters... > They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be > submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide > market for five, maybe six toasters. >If Xerox made toasters... > You could toast one-sided or double-sided. > Successive slices would get lighter and lighter. > The toaster would jam your bread for you. >If Radio Shack made toasters... > The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything about it. Or you > could buy all the parts to build your own toaster. >If Oracle made toasters... > They'd claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and > styles of bread, but when you got it home you'd discover the Bagel > Engine was still in development, the Croissant Extension was three > years away, and that indeed the whole appliance was just blowing > smoke. >If Sun made toasters... > The toast would burn often, but you could get a really good cuppa > Java. >Does DEC still make toasters?... > They made good toasters in the '80s, didn't they? >If Hewlett-Packard made toasters... > They would market the Reverse Polish Toaster, which takes in toast > and gives you regular bread. >If Tandem made toasters... > You could make toast 24 hours a day, and if a piece got burned the > toaster would automatically toast you a new one. >If Thinking Machines made toasters... > You would be able to toast 64,000 pieces of bread at the same time. >If Cray made toasters... > They would cost $16 million but would be faster than any other > single-slice toaster in the world. >If Sony made toasters... > The ToastMan, which would be barely larger than the single piece of > bread it is meant to toast, can be conveniently attached to your > belt. >If CostCo made toasters... > They'd be really cheap, as long as you bought a six-pack of 'em. > >And, of course: >If Microsoft made toasters... > Every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buy a > toaster. You wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'd still > have to pay for it anyway. Toaster '95 would weigh 15000 pounds > (hence requiring a reinforced steel countertop), draw enough > electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of the space in your > kitchen, would claim to be the first toaster that lets you control > how light or dark you want your toast to be, and would secretly > interrogate your other appliances to find out who made them. > Everyone would hate Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would buy > them since most of the good bread only works with their toasters. ---- Later, Dwarf ------------ -------------- aka Dale Scheetz Phone: 1 (904) 877-0257 Flexible Software Fax: NONE Black Creek Critters e-mail: dwarf@polaris.net ------------ If you don't see what you want, just ask --------------
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