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Things a SysAdmin should never say.. (fwd)




---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Sun, 15 Sep 1996 21:25:32 +0200 (IST)
From: Moshe Maor <maorm@netvision.net.il>
To: gmaor@techunix.technion.ac.il
Subject: Things a SysAdmin should never say.. (fwd)

> 84 Things you do NOT want your System Administrator to say:
> 
> 1.   Uh-oh...
> 2.   Oh S***!
> 3.   What the heck?!?
> 4.   Go get your backup tape.  (You DO have a backup tape?)
> 5.   That's SOOOOO bizarre.
> 6.   Wow!!  Look at this...
> 7.   Hey!!  The Suns don't do this.
> 8.   Terminated?!?
> 9.   What software license?
> 10.  Well, it's doing SOMETHING...
> 11.  Wow...that seemed fast...
> 12.  I got a better job at Lockheed...
> 13.  Management says...
> 14.  Sorry, the new equipment didn't get budgeted.
> 15.  What do you mean that wasn't a copy?
> 16.  It didn't do that a minute ago...
> 17.  Where's the GUI on this thing?
> 18.  Damn, and I just bought that Coke...
> 19.  Where's the DIR command?
> 20.  The drive ate the tape but that's OK, I brought my screwdriver.
> 21.  I cleaned up the root partition and now there's LOTS of free space.
> 22.  What's this "any" key I'm supposed to press?
> 23.  Do you smell something?
> 24.  What's that grinding sound?
> 25.  I have never seen it do THAT before...
> 26.  I don't think it should be doing that...
> 27.  I remember the last time I saw it do that...
> 28.  You might as well all go home early today...
> 29.  My leave starts tomorrow.
> 30.  Oops! (said in a quiet, almost surprised voice)
> 31.  Hmm, maybe if I do this...
> 32.  Why is my "rm -r *" taking so long?"
> 33.  Hmmm, curious...
> 34.  Well, MY files were backed up.
> 35.  What do you mean you needed that directory?
> 36.  What do you mean /home was on that disk?  I umounted it!
> 37.  Do you really need your home directory to do any work?
> 38.  I didn't think anybody would be doing any work at 2am, so I killed   
> your job.
> 39.  Yes, I chowned all the files to belong to pvcs.  Is that a problem   
> to you?
> 40.  We're standardizing on AIX.
> 41.  Wonder what THIS command does?
> 42.  What did you say your (1)user name was...? ;-)
> 43.  You did WHAT to the floppy???
> 44.  Sorry, we deleted that package last week.
> 45.  NO!!!  Not THAT button!!!
> 46.  [looks at workstation] "Say, what version of DOS is this thing   
> running?"
> 47.  YEEEHAA!!!   What a CRASH!!!
> 48.  What do you mean that could take down the whole network?
> 49.  What's this switch for anyways?
> 50.  Tell me again what that '-r' option to rm does...
> 51.  Say, what does "Superblock Error" mean, anyhow?
> 52.  If I know it wasn't going to work, I would have tested it sooner.
> 53.  Was that YOUR directory?
> 54.  System coming down in 0 minutes...
> 55.  The backup procedure works fine, but the restore is tricky!
> 56.  Hey Fred, did you save that posting about restoring filesystems with   
> vi and a toothpick?  More importantly, did you print it out?
> 57.  The sprinkler system isn't supposed to leak is it?
> 58.  It is only a minor upgrade, the system should be back up in a few   
> hours.  (This said on a Monday afternoon.)
> 59.  I think we can plug just one more thing in to this outlet strip   
> without tripping the breaker.
> 60.  What is all this I hear about static charges destroying computers?
> 61.  I found this rabbit program that is supposed to test system   
> performance and I have it running now.
> 62.  Ummm....Didn't you say you turned it off?
> 63.  The network's down, but we're working on it.  Come back after   
> dinner.
>      (Usually said at 2200 the night before thesis deadline.)
> 64.  Oops!  Save your work, everyone!  FAST!!!
> 65.  Boy, it's a lot easier when you know what you're doing.
> 66.  I hate it when that happens.
> 67.  Why did it say '/bin/rm: not found'?
> 68.  You can do this patch with the system up...
> 69.  What happens to a hard disk when you drop it?
> 70.  Well, I've got a backup, but the only copy of the restore program   
> was on THAT disk...
> 71.  Hey, what does mkfs do?
> 72.  Where did you say those backup tapes were kept?
> 73.  ...and if we just swap these two disk controllers like this...
> 74.  don't do that, it'll crash the sys...DAMN!
> 75.  what's this hash prompt on my terminal mean?
> 76.  Now it's funny you should ask that, because I don't know either...
> 77.  Can you get VMS for this Sparc thingy?
> 78.  I don't care what he says, I'm NOT having it on MY network.
> 79.  We don't support that.  We WON'T support that.
> 81.  ...and after I patched the microcode...
> 82.  You've got TECO.  What more do you want?
> 83.  We prefer not to change the root password, it's a nice easy one...
> 84.  Just add yourself to the password file and make a directory...