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Microsoft's silicon valley Campus: press release




(half-jokingly written by Rob Walker of VA Research, a cool guy that's a
real wiz at making SMP Pentium machines work :-)


Microsoft Responds to Linux Threat with Mountain View Campus

Mountain View, CA - Microsoft Corp. President Steve Ballmer broke
ground yesterday on the site of his company's new Silicon Valley
campus in Mountain view, adjacent to rival Linux vendor VA Research's
corporate headquarters.

"We're a company that has far more partners down here in the valley
than we do competitors," the new Microsoft president said.  "There are
thousands of companies who we benefit from and who will benefit from a
closer relationship with us."

"There are, of course, our competitors," he added.  "And whether you
are at VA Research, Oracle, or Netscape we look forward to supporting
you better from our facility here in the valley.  Besides, we can
always eliminate competitors by buying them or bundling a similar
product into the OS."

The ebullient Ballmer laughed maniacally as he explained that
Microsoft programmers would have a clear view of VA Research
programmers and Linux source code through the windows from the new
Microsoft campus.  "We planned ahead and used one-way mirrored glass,"
Ballmer drooled.

When one observer commented that Linux source code was available for
free download on the Internet, Ballmer sneered, and said, "Right.
That's just a myth propagated by the Linux marketing machine.  They
want you to think that.  They'd never release the code to something
that good."

Rival VA Research was not quite loading the welcome wagon for its new
neighbor.  "It's just another example of Microsoft following in our
footsteps," VA Research president Larry Augustin quipped when asked
about the new Microsoft campus opening next door.  "As soon as
Microsoft heard about our expansion plans, they began purchasing
adjacent lots to block us out.  Microsoft obviously planned their
ground breaking to try and steal our thunder.  VA began construction
Monday on our new office and did you see any press coverage?"

"Of course," the slightly harried Linux holy warrior continued, "we'll
be happy to sell them Linux systems.  That's to our advantage, since
we're worried about power surges due to all those Windows machines
constantly rebooting."

Microsoft, which is headquartered in Redmond, Wash., will build a
515,000 square-foot, 32-acre complex that will house nearly 800
employees.  Microsoft will construct the buildings, and the first is
scheduled to open by July 1999 and coincide with the release of
Windows NT 5.0 beta 6.  Factual details about Microsoft's expansion
plans can be found at
http://www.microsoft.com/presspass/features/8-6valley.htm

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